Groin Shot of the Week Candidates

Anthony Thomas. This one was screaming prime matchup for Thomas heading in. The Vikings? They've been giving up yards to opposing RBs like Mike Ditka gives up draft picks. Finishes the day with 18 yards on the ground and got tackled in the end zone for a safety. You have to admit, Thomas does one heck of a Ron Dayne impression.

Michael Vick. Stud RB theorists have to love this guy. Talk about value. You get a top starting RB threat at the bargain basement cost of what, a 7th to 9th round draft choice? Add another 90 yards and 2 TD Sunday. Oh, and those passing yards are a nice bonus too.

Emmitt Smith. Sure Emmitt hasn't been a very reliable fantasy player to plug into your lineup this season, but assuming only marginally better alternates, how could you pass him up this week? Shooting for Walter Payton's record. Playing against the worst run defense in the league. You couldn't write a better script and the lead man didn't disappoint.

Comments From The Couch

• Groin Shot Honorable Mention: Warrick Dunn. Not only did his 170 combined yards and a TD come as a surprise, but the late fumble set up Deuce McAllister's second TD, and, if you really want to stretch it, Jay Feely's third FG (to go along with 4 XP; remember the 5 FG rule?). Dunn really had his hands in a lot of fantasy outcomes Sunday.

• Through 8 weeks the Green Bay Packers are 4 full games up on every team in their division. Unfortunately that is more a testament to the pitiful Bears, Lions and Vikings than it is to the Pack.

• Joe Horn, when asked if he was excited to be part of the Falcons-Saints rivalry, responded, "Man, Atlanta ain't good enough to be no [darn] rival. The Rams was a rival. [The Falcons] won. My hat's off to them. But they ain't good enough to be no [darn] rival." Joe Horn: Great receiver, but dumb as a stump.

• Rob Johnson versus Randy Fasani. Just gives you butterflies, doesn't it? No. Wait. That's not butterflies. It's my nachos with spicy salsa coming up. RJ the answer in Tampa? Not bloody likely! If we were handing out mid-season Groin Shot awards, pretty much every Tampa offensive player would qualify, except Martin Gramatica, but he's still somewhat annoying.

• Corey Dillon trips over his own blocking lineman on his way to the winning TD over the Titans. Only the Bengals man, only the Bengals...

• Did "Famous" Amos Zereoue do a disappearing act? First half stats: 10 carries for 49 yards and 2 TD. Yes! Final stats: 13 carries for 53 yards and 2 TD. Huh? Funny how modest expectations can suddenly become high (very high) expectations once the sports ticker starts scrolling by.

• In celebration of Halloween, it seems the Patriots turned themselves into a pumpkin for the entire month of October.

• Raiders score 10 points against the Chiefs with Doug Jolley getting the only TD? Trent Green throws 2 INT and the Chiefs settle for 2 FG on their first 4 trips into the red zone? I was expecting a fantasy feast in this one. Instead it was fantasy banana bread.

• Thomas Jones or Marcel Shipp? Just when you thought it wasn't possible, this situation got hazier on Sunday. It was a better week for Kevan Barlow owners though.

• Not wanting to leave any games out of the column this week, thanks Jaguars for kicking me out of my Survivor pool (idiots), boy the Colts look pretty horrid, and go Bills!

Quotable

"Keeping your cool when someone's just stepped on your head with both feet is kind of hard to do.'' - Plaxico Burress, who was ejected from Sunday's game after an altercation with Ravens CB James Trapp.

And The Winner Is...

Call me sentimental if you like, but Emmitt gets the call this week. Even if you happen to lose with Emmitt in the lineup, you should have a little smile knowing you have the career best fantasy RB to ever play on your roster. (Note I didn't run some statistical performance analysis, so please no emails. I'm not going to argue the point.) Not to mention, we've got plenty of years ahead to look forward to Michael Vick kicking us in the groin.

:: comments to mike macgregor